I'm feeling particularly sad today

I don't know why. I feel as if it's me against the world. The great big huge world vs. little ol' me. A speck of sand on the beach of life. I had a pretty good night last night. Ate dinner with some friends some gentlemen at the bar bought us all a drink. I would like to specify gentlemen. They did come over and introduce themselves and we thanked them and then they left us alone. Wow! I'm used to the ones that think if they buy you a drink they are entitled to do whatever they want. Chivalry is still alive in the South, at least with the older crowd. It was nice.

Anyhoooo, a friend of mine is in dire need of some assistance. I want so badly to reach out and help, but don't have the ability to do so at this time. I've done it in the past, and feel as though I was slapped in the face. I grieve for my friend. I know that this person is having a really hard time. Been through many hard times with my friend, but that's what friends are for. Right? So why do I feel so shitty for not reaching out and helping this person. Is it because I would have to suffer to do it? Is it because I would still feel like I wasn't appreciated? Is it because I don't feel that this would teach my friend the lesson that so many people have to learn the hard way? Decisions, decisions, decisions! Many times in the past, with several different people I have helped when I didn't really have the means to help. But I did it, and ended up suffering. Financially, emotionally and in some instances, even physically. Ended friendships over the resentments. I just don't know what to do here.