Why do people ask what can I do to help?

It is such a bullshit question. If you ask me what you can do to help and I tell you, then I expect some type of action if it is within your realm of capability. Does that make sense? I was asked this question last night when I said I was going to get a job waitressing in a bar to earn extra money for bills and extra stuff. The husband said "I don't think that is necessary, what can I do to help?" I said "Get a job!" It turned into this big drawn out discussion about how I feel that he's not doing his part, which he's not, and how I am so mean for pointing out his flaws when I should be concentrating on my own. Blah Blah Blah! If he weren't at home all the time I probably wouldn't notice so many flaws. Correct? Why ask the question if you aren't willing to help? I'm so tired!